Gotye Hearts a Mess

Hearts A Mess

Pick apart
The pieces of your heart
And let me peer inside
Let me in
Where only your thoughts have been
Let me occupy your mind
As you do mine

You have lost
Too much love
To fear, doubt and distrust
(It’s not enough)
You just threw away the key
To your heart

You don’t get burned
(’Cause nothing gets through)
It makes it easier
(Easier on you)
But that much more difficult for me
To make you see…

Love ain’t fair
So there you are
My love

Your heart’s a mess
You won’t admit to it
It makes no sense
But I’m desperate to connect
And you, you can’t live like this

Love ain’t safe
You won’t get hurt if you stay chaste
So you can wait
But I don’t wanna waste my love

unproductivity levels are up

I am going crazy - someone tell me what to do! Someone help me be productive, be what I can be, be me without you. Be a whole person all the time, not just part of the time. Be alone yet happy. Be unhappy yet ok without you. Teach me how to be without it, be without the need of someone there, someone to hold me at night and kiss my forehead before I fall asleep. Why do I have this need to fill my life with need? With another person, with passion. Passion for them and not myself, who is taking care of me? I am trying to, trying to guard my heart from further destruction, it is too early! I need space, I need time to breath, yet I long for his voice, or maybe it's just anyone's voice, anyone's arms, anyone's kisses. I want to feel free, but again and again I seem to be pulled in by this need to be loved and adored. However, this time I think I have come to the wrong place. I have hit uncertainty, the vast big empty space of darkness. Somebody tell me how to find my own feelings in this untidy mess that is my mind.

a seed becomes a growing tree

The ways of the heart are mysterious walks in the park of insecurity and uncertainty, black woods with red sunbeams breaking through and turning everything purple around you. The shades of the leaves are double sided, one beautiful green; the other icy blue. The flowers grow at the foot of the trees, through the decaying leaves they stretch towards the orange light. Their petals are an array of purple, blue and pink with a yellow centre - like the sunlight breaking through the trees. In Spring the forest comes alive with flowers and little green leaves, the sun warms the little lake, soon it will be time for swimming, throw a rock in and the salamanders scatter in all directions. Summer brings heat from the white sun, naked bodies jump in and laughter echoes through the trees. Young lovers meet at midnight under the largest pine by the edge of the loch. Clothes are quickly removed with a giggle and unrestful eyes, he runs into the water and she follows warily step by step into the cold water. The clear water encapsulates their naked bodies..The way of the heart is like clear ice cold water, cold when enjoyed alone, exciting and thrilling when in company...

Those places that we knew

The drive down to Copenhagen from Skåne reminded me enormously of what has been. Last time I was on this road I was with him, last time I saw that bush, that tree, that road sign I was with him. Last time I was on this boat he was tired, tired from driving, moody as always, but happy to return to his homeland yet again. The emotions grew and grew inside me, the torment of what had been, the sadness of what is now, right up until I caught myself mid-way, stopped myself from thinking those thoughts.

You have been down this highway before without him, seen these trees, the landscape has been the same since you were a kid and it will stay the same long after he is forgotten, long after you have been forgotten.

The streets are laid bare with memories, that's where we sat, that's where we kissed, that's were we fought. Last time I slept in this bed was next to him, in his arms, but restlessly so. At midnight we fought then we slept. My heart is almost healed, but then I approached this city again. I saw that things had not changed, but I have and so has he. Yet these streets, open empty places, the room, the bed will remind me of him. Copenhagen isn't the same as it was before him. However, I still see myself situated permanently here one day, now not with him, but alone. It will still bring joy to my heart when the sun shines on my face and my family is near. Just not right now, maybe next time, maybe without him in my heart.

Illness anger

I hate men, they upset me - especially certain men, the heartbreaking kind. The one's that thinks its ok to leave you with a flat that you bought together, when he knows you can't afford to keep it and he thinks its acceptable to leave you with nothing, not even a penny. He thinks its ok because he couldn't take it anymore, he wanted to not have to feel bad about himself, he didnt want to change, he wanted to stay a little boy forever. Well, let's put it this way you have managed to prove that last bit by running away from your responsibilities... I don't get how men just move on after a break up, the next day they are all happy and living their lives as if nothing happened, although when in a relationship they always need a lot of attention all the fucking time, and reassurance...a lot of reassurance. But when its over, it's over no looking back no heartache. Why do I have to feel so bad right now, why can't he, I am the one that has to do something, finish something, use my brain! It is soooo unfair, it's such a bad time for me right now, why now? Couldn't he have done it during the summer at least, so that the warm weather might cheer me up and the sun warm my body, rather than the cold winter winds making me sick and the heating in my room not even close to heating the room up, not even close to warming the pieces of my broken heart.
How much does a person hate you when they leave you in financial despair, unable to work properly because work means using ur brain, and still has the guts to say that it will pass with time and they still love you???
I hate you for making me this unhappy, and being happy for you!