huff and puff

I think I am a bit confused after having read so much art theory lately. Everyday I wake with a different mood and a tired brain. It is making me do irrational things, react irrationally to simple well meant statements and actions. I don't know if I want to be like this for the rest of my life. Stuck in an office, surrounded by books that I really have to use all of my mental ability to understand, alone and anti-social. Maybe academia is not for me, but what else is there for someone like my, almost a Dr and all? Nothing else that will pay my loans and save me from this sea of debt that I have created whilst being a student for 10 years. Shite, I am stuck! I'm not even motivated to do this, to read another chapter on Modernism or Socialist Realism or Art Theory, the absolute hate topic. I do not understand why such intelligent people have to make everything so complicated, so hard to understand, so many big/fancy words that basically means language or image. Why? Can we not write in a language that is applicable and understood by all? Why do we have to pretend we are more capable through the use of semiotics and methodology that no one, not even a suitable candidate like myself, understands because the structure of the sentence is without reason and made with such disdain for the grass roots that after reading it for a whole hour one still doesn't understand! I think I will start a rebellion - I refuse to be an academic that writes for the elite! Even the Marxists write like that, Karl Marx himself would turn in his grave! He never did, he is understood by all. So why can't we be? I always wondered why one has to write in a fashion that is so far from Marx himself. Well well, maybe that's just me.