Yesterday itelli and I were sitting in the window seat of one of our many local bars/coffee shops watching people go in and out, couples old and young, when we started talking about relationships. Under which circumstances the question arose: companionship or relationship, what's the difference? And what do we prefer? I don't know if we came to any conclusions on the subject, but here's a recap of a few of the arguments:
Companionship means a coming together of friends, two friends set out to share a flat, a home, a life, but continue to live separate lives, continue to keep their freedom, a commitment based on trust and openness, both individuals respect each other and do not try to change the other person in any way or form. As itelli put it, a relationship were you don't become one entity. I don't know if I agree or even comprehend what this means, but bear with me..
Relationship is two people in love, joining each other's lives and becoming one, as my ex would say, a 'You and me against the world' sort of thing. The partners respect each other, but realise one will change to accommodate the other half of the relationship, however, there are rules/restraints. The two expect things of each other, when are you coming home tonight, dinner will be at 18, jealousy develops, it becomes more ownership than a pact, a common future develops, and will eventually in most cases either end in marriage or a breakup.
This is where it gets tricky, shouldn't they be one and the same thing - shouldn't they intertwine, find a balancing line? One where one has freedom and respect, yet still change and develop with the other person? Become one together? I guess one of the points here are that companionships don't end as quickly and dramatically as relationships do, the basis is friendship and the love develops out of respect rather than a hot quick flame of passion, which could extinguish as quickly as it appeared.
What do you think?
Love is a tricky thing really, it can make you so happy you feel you can do anything, and it can bring you down to a level where you cannot do anything at all.
Companionship means a coming together of friends, two friends set out to share a flat, a home, a life, but continue to live separate lives, continue to keep their freedom, a commitment based on trust and openness, both individuals respect each other and do not try to change the other person in any way or form. As itelli put it, a relationship were you don't become one entity. I don't know if I agree or even comprehend what this means, but bear with me..
Relationship is two people in love, joining each other's lives and becoming one, as my ex would say, a 'You and me against the world' sort of thing. The partners respect each other, but realise one will change to accommodate the other half of the relationship, however, there are rules/restraints. The two expect things of each other, when are you coming home tonight, dinner will be at 18, jealousy develops, it becomes more ownership than a pact, a common future develops, and will eventually in most cases either end in marriage or a breakup.
This is where it gets tricky, shouldn't they be one and the same thing - shouldn't they intertwine, find a balancing line? One where one has freedom and respect, yet still change and develop with the other person? Become one together? I guess one of the points here are that companionships don't end as quickly and dramatically as relationships do, the basis is friendship and the love develops out of respect rather than a hot quick flame of passion, which could extinguish as quickly as it appeared.
What do you think?
Love is a tricky thing really, it can make you so happy you feel you can do anything, and it can bring you down to a level where you cannot do anything at all.
2 comments:
I might need to think it through a bit more. Cos, now, I see ur point about having a companionhip within a relationship.
But this is a good transcript of an enjoyable conversation.
thanks dude I really enjoyed it too, you make it worthwhile to continue
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