The time has come to realise that I am alone, on my own. There is no longer another part of me, one that is attached through the strings of my heart, that part has to go. I am in the process of cutting the strings, but it is taking a lot longer than I thought. I thought we could be friends that we could talk that we could see each other. I thought when I moved I would feel less lonely, less alone, less sad - I was wrong! The time has come to separate, to stop looking back and start looking to the future, a future without an aching heart and the feeling of being left behind. So finally, as many would have preferred I would have done earlier, I have taken the step I have been fearing for weeks now. I have asked for time, time to recover, time to heal. Hopefully it will help, it will let my heart and soul recover from the shock and the loss.

All of this might or might not have been spurred by the fact that the flat in Oslo is on the market without any interested buyers out there, which day by day increases my (economic) misery which spurs anger towards HIM at the same time as my heart wants to forgive him, take him back, love him forever. Something has to be done, my emotional state has to change. Thinking about HIM still brings sweetness, talking to HIM brings flutter and smiles. Nothing wrong with that, but at this point it should have calmed down, it should have gone away. Yet the tears are still there, the lust and the longing too.