'I wish we could have met in September. I wish I had more time with you.' His eyes are filled with longing and anticipation of her response. 'I know' she says without any emotion at all. She can feel the alcohol in her bloodstream. She wants to scream, shout, make him feel less secure about himself, make him see her anger and discontentment with his words. Yet all she can make herself admit to is that she knows he does. 'Don't you think it would all have ended differently if we had met in September?' He looks at her with dismay and shakes his head, 'Who knows, maybe. All I'm saying is that I would have liked to have had more time with you.' She ponders the notion with which he is playing. She wants to tell him not to leave, not to go back, to choose her, but she doesn't. She just looks at him with affectionate eyes. He is younger, he doesn't want the same things as her. He drank of her because he was lonely, and now he is afraid. Afraid to be without her, afraid that she has changed him, afraid of instability. Suddenly she stands up, 'I can't do this anymore! I'm sorry.' Walking away she feels his eyes tearing through her. 'Wait, don't go' she hears as the door shuts behind her, and the tears start running down her cheeks as she starts running through the streets, away from him. 'If I can only make it home I'll be alright. You will feel better there' she convinces herself.
She knows he will follow her, she knows he will hold her again, yet she tries so hard to imagine what it will be like without him. He is going away, he will one day, soon, very soon, be gone forever. From the moment they met she knew he would one day have to leave her like all the others. She never manages to keep them for long, she pushes them away. Many a time the thought has crossed her mind, yet she's never felt sorrow for his departure. 'I will not be sad. I will be strong. I have still not become attached to him.' Thoughts that spin through her mind every moment she is not near him, such as now. Running away, she wishes she could leave, disappear into thin air, become someone else somewhere else.
'Darling, why did you not wait for me? Didn't you see me, didn't you hear me? What is wrong? Tell me, little one, please.' He is standing in front of her, his eyes the same cool colour as ever ,reaching out to find an answer in her tear wet face. He reaches out and grabs her close to him, she can hear his heart beating, 'oh what a soothing sound'. They stand silently holding each other, until she pulls away looking at him with red eyes, 'Would you like a glass of wine?' 'Sure, if you are having one.' She smiles her biggest smile, even though she knows no end to the pain inside. As she turns she knows she will not tell him anything and he will not ask, because their eyes will have said it all.
She knows he will follow her, she knows he will hold her again, yet she tries so hard to imagine what it will be like without him. He is going away, he will one day, soon, very soon, be gone forever. From the moment they met she knew he would one day have to leave her like all the others. She never manages to keep them for long, she pushes them away. Many a time the thought has crossed her mind, yet she's never felt sorrow for his departure. 'I will not be sad. I will be strong. I have still not become attached to him.' Thoughts that spin through her mind every moment she is not near him, such as now. Running away, she wishes she could leave, disappear into thin air, become someone else somewhere else.
'Darling, why did you not wait for me? Didn't you see me, didn't you hear me? What is wrong? Tell me, little one, please.' He is standing in front of her, his eyes the same cool colour as ever ,reaching out to find an answer in her tear wet face. He reaches out and grabs her close to him, she can hear his heart beating, 'oh what a soothing sound'. They stand silently holding each other, until she pulls away looking at him with red eyes, 'Would you like a glass of wine?' 'Sure, if you are having one.' She smiles her biggest smile, even though she knows no end to the pain inside. As she turns she knows she will not tell him anything and he will not ask, because their eyes will have said it all.
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