Eskobar, Bring the Action

autumn is here, I've dreaded this moment. Basically there has been no summer here at all this year, the village has been encapsulated in one cloud since May, and now it's the end of August and I am sick of it! I feel as if I am shrinking because of it, soon I will disapear. There will only be a shrub where I used to be, I am dying like a plant entisapating the winter. I used to enjoy the rain, but after a summer in the grey it doesn't make me smile as it used to. One wouldn't think I am Scandinavian, joyous of the return to darkness and dropping temperatures, which of course means snow, oh glorious snow, white and sparkling. I am NOT happy, I do not look forward to the winter, because here where I am winter equals rain, rain and then maybe some more rain. The sky turning an ever darker shade of grey by each day as the never ending autumn (winter to you Northeners) approaches. The worst thing about this summer's weather has been that it hasn't even rained, it has just been months of overcast and once every ten days or so the sun has peaked out from behind the clouds and tormented us. As if it was saying, 'Hi, I am here behind the white curtains, but I am rather shy so I will just give you a day or two to get to know me. And then I will leave you returning to my hiding place underneath my big fluffy duvet.' What a liar! I know where you've been hiding, North East of here that's where! Across the sea that divides this rainy island from supposedly colder lands. Someone told me that last years August and September was warm and sunny, however, at this point in time that is not very likely to be the case this year. How will I survive the wet miserable days without having felt the summer sunshine warming my soul and body? I am secretly hoping I will win the lottery and rush off to Barbados, which is not very plausible since I haven't been playing... With the autumn comes goodbyes too, as well as, hellos. I am afraid of it now. Strange cause barely a week ago I wasn't at all. I guess I have been denying it, telling myself over and over that it will be hard afterwards, for a while, but then I would be back, be happy, be me. However, I am starting to wonder when and how we will part, and what emotions the unavoidable end will stirr in me. The fact is that we most likely will never meet the same way or the same people again, that we might not ever, I don't want to say it, meet again. Deep down inside I am a romantic, I try to hide it, but I am a sucker for a hopelessly romantic ending to a story. Therefore I hope, I wonder, I dream of what might come, what the future will hold. Knowing full well that does fantasies will never come true. But suddenly it has become harder, he has made it harder, I have made it harder. I am afraid of letting go, yet I know it is the only way, I know we will be there for each other, I know I have found a friend for life, I know he has to explore the world, I know we are at different stages in our lives, I know we will not make each other happy right now, I know I will miss him like mad. It might be the fear of being alone again, the fear of not meeting that one special person.