Monday musings

I think I need to go somewhere, to Asia perhaps or New Zealand, or just Zealand. The village is too small for me again, why does it keep shrinking? Or is it me that grows too big, can I be related to Alice? Have I hit the ceiling? Maybe I am just too small now, I have lost something dear to me that can never be returned. Maybe not, I have nothing but family that is that dear to me. But inspiration to do the minute little things to make the big one happen is gone, at least for today. Maybe it will return with the Tuesday wind, or sun on my face? Oh how I long for summer, well a proper summer. Someone told me over the weekend that since this year's winter was a real winter a true and warm and marvellous summer will follow. This is the North after all, the pessimist in me says no it will not happen. The sun will never warm me here, unless I grow taller than the university building in which I sit and write this, so tall I can touch the sun. Is there such a drink for me, behind the door which leads nowhere? Probably not, the drinks and cakes that will bring me to the clouds are off limits. I have to be responsible now, have to do what I came here for. Stop! Don't behave like a teenager anymore! Be a grown-up, behave your age, woman! No, I won't I refuse. I will not be part of that rank just yet, the army of workers that build the nation. Just give me a couple more years. I will be good eventually, eventually something will change me to the better social model I can be. But not today, and not tomorrow, maybe next week?